SAN DIEGO — While Valentine's Day is supposed to make couples feel all warm and cozy, it can also cause depression for many people who feel lonely.
A recent study by QuoteWizard who analyzed Census Data from 2011 to 2020 found California has the third highest percentage of people who don't marry.
But a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego says you don’t need cupid to feel special.
“I think what's important is to really think about Valentine's Day in a different way. We tend to think about it as celebrating love as a couple, but I think we have an opportunity to celebrate all types of love for Valentine's Day. So love for family, love for friends, love for pets. And I think what is most important is love of self-love,” said Sarah Simmons, M.D.
Rick Salow says he is single and enjoys love in many forms.
“It’s fine for me. I'm single and that's ok, I'm still dating and that is enough for me,” said Salow.
This kind of solitude shouldn't be mistaken for loneliness. Simmons says you kind find contentment in being alone by finding self-love.
“I mean, what we find is when people practice some of these techniques, embrace some of these techniques, their mindset, really changes, it can be life changing,” said Simmons.
She recommends that you can give yourself the gift of love by channeling peace of mind or writing yourself a love letter.
“I would say a lot of people have a hard time with that because of that little negative critical voice in our head. To help out it's a good idea to pretend you're a friend writing the letter about yourself to give yourself some distance. We would let some of those positive attributes come through,” said Simmons.
A recent survey by Better Health, a national therapy platform, found that half of Americans felt stressed about their love lives and their mental health heightened around Valentine’s Day. Many of those who were stressed were Gen Z’ers.
“It’s really stressful, especially if you feel like you're getting people commenting and looking at you and saying, ‘why aren't you with somebody yet?’ So it's really important to change that their narrative and realize there's a lot of opportunities for love out there,” said Simmons.
That kind of self-love can be celebrated for your pets, family and friends on any day, not just Valentine’s day.
“I make sure that I'm hanging out with a lot of my friends,” said Salow.
Simmons recommends you can also avoid toxic friends, social media, and the power of scent like lavender and vanilla can be good calming measures.
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