SAN DIEGO — Five years ago, I shared a deeply personal story about my mom Lucy's diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. Many of you started following our journey as my family and I cared for her.
You were with us through the highs and lows and I appreciate your words of kindness and support when she passed away in November 2023.
It's hard to believe it's been almost a year without her, but I take comfort in knowing my Mom's memory lives on through a special tribute project for people living with Alzheimer's disease and the people who love and care for them.
My daughter Kyla created "Heart to Heart: Conversation Starter Cards" for her Girl Scout Gold Award project, as a way to honor her Grandma. Kyla designed the artwork and crafted thoughtful questions for 52 cards filled with prompts intended to take people down memory lane.
"What inspired me was that my grandma really loved to talk about her past," explained Kyla. "If I asked about her childhood, or she was reminded of something about her childhood, she would light up instantly," she recalled.
The cards feature prompts that include: "Do you have a favorite movie?", "What kind of music do you enjoy?" and "Is there a story behind your name?".
Kyla carefully worded each question, as experts advise never to ask someone with Alzheimer's if they remember something. Alzheimer's San Diego says for people with dementia, their disability is memory loss. Asking them to remember is like asking a blind person to see.
After months of designing prototypes on Adobe Illustrator and researching to find a printer to generate the cards, Kyla donated 1,000 decks to Alzheimer's San Diego. This non-profit provides free resources to people living with Alzheimer's and dementia. Their office located at 3635 Ruffin Road in San Diego is a space for people to visit and socialize.
"I wanted to work with Alzheimer's San Diego because my grandma used to go to Alzheimer's San Diego and visit during their social activities. And her Alzheimer's companion, Miss Claudia, was one of her best friends," Kyla said. "She would go on walks with her, help her garden, and that was very special for my grandma. So I wanted a way to give back to this amazing organization and kind of honor my grandma and her spirit in that way, because she just loved going so much, and she really loved her Alzheimer's companion too."
Kyla originally thought the cards would be useful for grandkids like herself to use with their grandparents, but Alzheimer's San Diego President and CEO Eugenia Welch says the cards are being used by loved ones and caregivers of all ages.
"We found that it's worked with every population," Eugenia said. "Last week, I was talking to someone who's using it with her spouse, because the normal conversation is, how are you today? What's going on? So the cards spark fun conversations and makes the interaction more meaningful."
Caesar Pacheco volunteers at Alzheimer's San Diego as an Alz Companion and says the cards have helped him bond more deeply with the 87-year-old man he visits each week.
"There have been times where I have struggled to keep up a conversation, or we just go through topics really quickly," Caesar said. "And the cards give me a way to come up with other ideas of what to ask him."
One card asks the question, "What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?". Caesar said it prompted his client to talk about his youth when he lived abroad.
"I could see a bright light open his eyes, and he was so touched to go back into those memories of him. He did some work in Latin American countries, and he was just over thrilled to talk about it," he said.
Alzheimer's San Diego debuted the conversation starter cards at an open house in September. Eugenia said that though they are simple, they are significant.
"These have just hit the right spot at the right time. People really like them. It's just easy to pick them up and start using them; there's no homework or guide or anything you have to do to make it work. And that's what people need. They need things to be easy," she said.
For Kyla, the project has been an emotional and fulfilling tribute to her grandmother's legacy, and she is overwhelmed by the positive feedback.
"That makes me feel really happy, because I know my grandma really loved talking to people. She was very social," Kyla said. "So it's fitting that this tribute project is sparking conversation."
Speaking from her dorm room at UC Berkeley, Kyla said, "I'm glad that it was something I could do before I did go to college and to honor her and give back to Alzheimer's San Diego and the whole Alzheimer's community, because we felt very supported as a family when my grandma was going through her journey." She reflected, "Even though Alzheimer's is a difficult disease, there are still happy memories that come from bonding and having conversations with loved ones. I think my grandma really would have loved to hear that."
Alzheimer's San Diego will distribute the cards for free at their upcoming Walk4ALZ in Balboa Park on Oct. 19.
